


I Will Not Kiss You // Josh Dun

by rawrimustwrite



Category: Twenty One Pilots, josh dun - Fandom, tøp
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-16
Updated: 2017-03-22
Packaged: 2018-08-22 18:58:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 19,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8296582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rawrimustwrite/pseuds/rawrimustwrite
Summary: Josh Dun goes to Chipotle way too much. Mostly for the food, but sometimes for the girl behind the counter.





	1. Burn

"Shit!" I said, quickly drawing my hand back from the tortilla press. I looked down at my hand, a rose of red blossoming there, the heat burning into my skin. 

 

I glanced at the customer in front of me, their eyebrows furrowed in concern with a hint of annoyance.

  
"I'm so sorry, ma'am. I'll get someone to take over for me." I said, trying to hide my embarrassment and pain. I look over at my coworker, Andy, pleading with my eyes and he quickly took my place.

  
Holding my injured hand, I hurried to the back. I turned on the sink, the cool water rushing over the hurt skin. As it slowly began to cool my hand down, the pain went down the drain with the water. I bit my lip, thinking about what had caused my distraction. A man had walked in with bright pink hair, something that I didn't see very often. It was stupid to get distracted like that, I chastised myself. 

  
I hadn't gotten to see much of the pink-haired man, the sensation of blistering pain gained the fight for my attention. 

  
The door next to me swung open, jumping me out of my thoughts. My manager, Holly, stood there, the door swinging back and forth and finally to a stop behind her. I couldn't help but notice a glimpse of pink hair in the limited view of the Chipotle. I could feel Holly's eyes burning into my soul, even worse than the tortilla press had. 

  
"Care to explain what happened out there?" Holly said in a condescending tone. "You cussed in front of a customer, you were careless, and you injured yourself." 

  
"I'm sorry, Holly. I don't know what came over me." I said, looking down at my shoes.

  
"And now you are wasting water!" she said exasperated, gesturing to the still running sink. 

  
I quickly grab the sink handle and then let go just as quick, wincing as I had grabbed it with my burned hand. I use my other hand to try again, this time successfully turning off the flow of water. 

  
"I-I'm sorry, Holly." I repeat, turning back to face her, my hand screaming at me to help it. 

  
Holly looked down at my hand and sighed. "Take the rest of the day off, get that bandaged." She turned and pushed on the door, "But you are closing tomorrow." 

  
I nod hurriedly and she walks out of the swinging door. I lean to the side, trying to catch a peak at the lobby, only to see a glimpse of the pink hair as they walked out of the restaurant. 

  
~~~

  
A few days later, I was back behind the counter, my hand bandaged. I smiled as a young woman walked in with blonde hair and striking blue eyes, a cheerful smile planted on her face.   
  
"What can I get started for you?" I asked, my customer service voice subconsciously making its way into my tone. 

  
"I have two hungry boys back at home, so prepare yourself." she said cheerfully, a chuckle following her words. 

  
A single mother, perhaps? She looked pretty young to already have two boys but she may be one of those girls who look way younger than they are. I glance down at my bandaged hand, hoping it wouldn't interfere with this order. 

  
"Okie dokie, what can I get for you?" I said, a smile planted on my face. 

  
The blonde pulls out a list and reads off the first burrito, "Black beans... chicken AND steak...... a little hot salsa, corn, cheese, lettuce, sour cream." I quickly followed her order, surprised at how hefty the burrito was for a child. I quickly moved back to the start of the line and was ready for the the next burrito. " White rice on the burrito...half chicken, half sofritas... no beans, and pico. Extra sour cream. Cheese and lettuce. And that's it." 

  
I gave a smile to her as I wrapped up the second burrito. "You got some hungry little boys here."

  
She looked up from digging in her purse and gave out a laugh. "Yeah, you could say that." 

  
I rung up the order and looked up at her. She seemed a bit stressed, must be because of being a single mother. I quickly comped one of the burritos and took her card. She gave a grateful smile and a quiet thank you. I gave a smile in return and she makes her way out of the restaurant. 

  
I run my hands through my short, deep red hair and quickly make my way back to the beginning of the line, giving my customer service smile to the next person. 

  
~~~

  
Two young men stumble into Chipotle late at night. They are a rowdy and loud but I don't even care. I was just following the blur of pink as they joked around and made their way up to the counter. 

  
I stared at them as they discussed what they wanted. One had shorter, brown hair and a lanky body, an an attractive face. But the other. Oh man, the other. He had a fluff of pink on top of his head and dark, almond shaped eyes that were such a contrast to his pale skin that it caused me gasp just a little. He laughed at something his companion said, causing his eyes to scrunch up in the most particular way. It reminded me of two crescent moons. 

  
"Hello, sirs. M-may I- sorry...uh" I flustered, trying hard not to studder like I did when I got like this. The boys looked at me with their eyebrows raised and their smiles fading, the short haired one seemed mildly concerned. I took a deep breath. "Sorry, what can I get started for you?"

  
The short haired on looked at me for a second before speaking his order, "White rice on the burrito, half chicken, half sofritas, no beans, and pico." I looked up, the order sounding framular, I looked at the pink haired man and he looked away quickly. "Extra sour cream. Cheese and lettuce. And that's it." 

How odd, I couldn't quite place it but I was getting a sense of deja vu. I wrapped the burrito and looked at the pink haired man, waiting for his order. He just stared at me, he chocolate eyes seemed to look at every imperfection on my face. I felt my cheeks getting warm at his stare.

"Uh...what can I get for you?" I said awkwardly, a little uncomfortable from the attention. 

He shook his head as if getting out of trance and stumbled out his order, "Black beans, uh chicken," he pointed at the meat and then sheepishly said, "and steak..." I smiled to myself at his hesitence, "a little hot salsa, corn, cheese, lettuce, sour cream." 

I wrapped up his burrito, the orders finally clicking. I looked at these men, they were way to old to be the children of that blonde lady. I rang up their order and took the pink-haired guy's card. I was about to swipe it when I stopped and looked up at them, a confused look planted on my face.

"I-I'm sorry to ask but do you know a woman with blonde hair and bright blue eyes?" I asked, realizing how weird that sounded.

The short haired man's eyes seemed to light up with joy, "You mean Jenna?" He said excitedly. 

I glanced at the pink haired man and a smile was creeping up on his face, "Uh, I guess. She said she was buying burritos for two hungry boys. I assumed she ment her children but you guys are definitely not children." 

"Debatable." the pink haired man said.

"That's my wife!" the excited man said, pride dripping from each word. 

I laughed, shaking my head, and swiped his card. I handed it back with the recipe and our fingers brushed slightly, sending electricity through my arm. We all gave a quick thank you and they headed out. The electric boy gave one last look back before they left, his mocha eyes caught my breath once again. 

Damn. 

~~~

I saw those boys a couple of more times, sometimes them together, sometimes with 'Jenna', sometimes individually. The pink haired boy came in the most but we never really talked more than taking his order and small talk. I learned he was a drummer and is best friends with a guy named Tyler, who I assume was the short haired boy.

"Hey there, pinky." I said as my pink haired boy walked in, causing a laugh to escape his lips. 

"Pinky?" he said when he reached the counter. 

I smiled, "Well you haven't ever told me your name."

His eyes widened as he realized they actually never did tell me. "Uh, heh sorry, my name is Josh." He reached his hand out over the glass. 

I looked at his hand and then down at mine. "Uh I'm not suppose to touch the customers." I said sheepishly and looked back up, he lowered his hand. "I'm Charlie." 

"As in Charlotte?" He asked raising his eyes brows. 

I nodded, a shy smile on my lips. I started making his burrito, not needing to hear his order anymore. My burnt hand no longer bandaged, a light scar had formed on my left palm, I expertly put his meal together. I could feel his eyes on me but I resisted looking into his chocolate intisers. 

  
I wrapped the burrito and he handed me his debt card. I gestured it away. "It's on the house, Josh." I said, testing his name. 

  
He looked up at me, confused for a second. "N-no. You shouldn't do that, I can pay." He studdered out. 

  
"It's my treat." I said cheerfully, handing him the bag containing the burrito. He grabbed it tentatively, our fingers electric once again. 

  
Like they did every time. It was an odd phenomenon.


	2. Smile

I twirled around in my rolly chair, letting the force of the spin mess up my brain. I let out a sigh, ignoring the laptop that sat on my desk. The pixels had formed a bullshit essay for my Lit professor. I closed my eyes, listening to the music pour out of the crappy speakers, it was some band that I had never heard of but it sounded nice. 

I hear a little chime and opened my eyes quickly, noticing my phone light up. I looked at it quite confused and glanced at the clock on my laptop, it read 2:23 a.m. Who would be texting me at this time? I pick up my phone, unlocking it quickly. 

2:23 am Unknown: hey charlie! it's josh, i got your number from one of your co-workers, sorry if that is creepy but he seemed happy to give it to me oh and sorry im texting so late

I smiled down at my phone, it was probably Andy who gave Josh my number. He liked to tease me a lot on how I get flustered when Josh would come in. I bit my lip, wanting to write the correct response.

2:24 am Me: Hey josh! It's fine, I was up working on an essay actually, what are you doin up?

I stared at my message for a second, watching as it sent. I put my phone down, smiling at the thought that Josh had asked someone for my number. I looked the essay in front of me, the 12 point font daunting me. I leaned over a typed another bullshit sentence. 

Gatsby's love for Daisy can be show explicitly through the way-

I was interrupted mid sentence by a chime coming from my phone. 

2:26 am Unknown: oh nothing, just couldnt sleep. 

I smiled once again, imaging Josh laying in bed, his pale face being lit up by his phone, his chocolate eyes being exposed by the bright light. 

2:26 am Me: The unknown struggles of Pinky haha

I looked at the message and hit send. I put Josh's number into my contacts and I had just set my phone down when I got another message. 

2:27 am Josh: does that make you the brain? lol

I giggled to myself, no one ever really gets my obscure references but this boy did. I was about to type something else when another message popped up. 

2:28 am Josh: hey, this may sound weird but i really want to get out of the house and i dont really wanna be walking around alone. do you wanna hang? 

I looked from the message to my essay to my window, noticing the pitch black outside. I hesitated, do I really want to go meet up with a guy at two in the morning? I have to finish this essay, but that pink fluff was calling to me. 

2:29 am Me: Meet me at Chipotle in 15? 

2:29 am Josh: can't wait

I took a breath and quickly made up some bullshit conclusion to my bullshit essay and sent it to the printer. I stood up and made my way over to the bathroom inside my apartment. I looked in the mirror, my hazel green eyes meeting my reflection. My short hair was a mess so I quickly brushed through it, attempting to tame it. I looked down at my sweatpants and tanktop that fitted my body nicely but would be inappropriate for a hangout. I turned quickly and headed back to my room. I picked up a pair of skinny jeans off the floor and grabbed a random button up shirt of my closet causing the hanger to spin around. I changed, buttoning up the shirt all the way to my neck and jumped as I pulled my jeans on. I slid on a light jacket and hopped on one foot as I put on my vans. 

Grabbing the keys off of the side table next to the door and sliding my phone into my back pocket, I swung the door open. A rush of cool, late night air rushed over my exposed skin, causing my cheeks to flush at the temperature change. 

 

I pulled into the empty Chipotle parking lot, a few minutes late, my radio clock reading 2:47. I sat their for a second, soaking in all the heat I could from the car before opening up my door. Once again I was greeted by Jack Frost's kiss on my cheeks. I smiled as I saw Josh leaning against the wall of the restaurant, phone in hand, combat boots on feet.  

I walked up, listening to my shoes as they walked across the asphalt, they were the silence breakers in this interesting encounter and it caused Josh to look up from his phone. 

"Hey there, Brain!" he said, sliding his phone into his back pocket.

I smiled, stopping in front of him, unsure as to how we were suppose to greet each other; via hug, handshake, high five? 

He stuck his hand out, "Considering I couldn't formally introduce myself last week. I'm Joshua Dun, nice to meet you."

I chuckled and shook his hand, "Charlotte Harris, pleasure." His hands felt calloused against my comparatively unused ones. As we both released, my hand felt cold, I hadn't realized how much warmth his hand was providing. "So what did you have planned, Mr. Dun?" 

"Uh..." He reached up and scratched the back of his neck. "Are you hungry?" 

I wasn't really all that hungry but I didn't want to say no. "I could eat." He smiled and nodded towards his car. We made our way over, our asphalt crunches synchronizing. He opened the passenger door for me and I slid into the designated seat. I glanced in the back seat out of habit and noticed an excess of Chipotle bags. I stifled a laugh as he slid into the driver's seat.  

He looks at me for a split second, a beautiful smile on his face and he buckles his seatbelt. The engine turns and I can feel the rumble of it coming to the life through my seat. The radio turned on with the car and the song that I had heard in my apartment turned on. I still didn't know who it was by but Josh quickly turned it off, a flustered manner to him. I raised my eyebrows at him, as if to ask him why.

"Hate that song." he said sheepishly. I nodded slowly and looked out the window. 

 

We sat in a booth at the empty Denny's with a few graveyard shift workers moseying around. Josh sat across from me, hungrily looking over the menu. I noticed the bags under his eyes and the nose ring that complimented his whole bad boy look he seemed to be going for. I would almost believe it if he wasn't wearing a kitten shirt that was somewhat exposed under his unzipped jacket. A beanie blocked all but a bit of pink that poked out the front into a cute little curl, the kind you just wanted to absent mindedly twirl. A five o'clock shadow defined his jawline, the perfect amount of scruff. His lips seemed to fit his face perfectly, not too big, and not too thin, just nice enough that I could just lean over and-

"You aren't looking at your menu." he said suddenly, not looking up from his menu, a smug smile planted on his face.

"S-Sorry." I said, quickly looking down at the unopened menu that resided on the table in front of me. I picked it up and planted it in front of my face as to hide the tomato red hue that I could feel coming on. The options of food were spread out for me but I was too flustered to be able to read them. Suddenly a hand reached over the top of the menu and pulled it down.

"No need to apologize, Brain." Josh said with a genuine smile that just made my heart melt. I studied his eyes now that they met mine, flicking my focus from the left to the right to the left, taking in the differences of the irises, like two flowers, simular far away but beautifully unique up close. "You're staring." 

I blinked a couple of times, leaning back. I didn't even know I was leaning forward, I was acting so weird tonight. It probably didn't help that it was almost three am and I was hanging out with this attractive man. I picked up my menu once again, trying to act like I wasn't distracted by the drummer. 

"Are you guys ready?" asked a bored teenager. I looked up from my menu, glad to have an interruption from my awkwardness. 

Josh looked at the menu a second more before ordering more food that I could possible imagine eating in a full sitting. My jaw dropped more and more as he listed off the things he desired that night. The waiter scribbling down his order as quick as he could. 

When Josh finished, he looked at me with so much joy in his eyes that I couldn't help but laugh. I hate my laugh cause it was one of those that moved your whole body as if the humor that you had just experienced had possessed you. Maybe it was because of how little sleep I had, or maybe it was the oddity of this whole night, but I couldn't stop laughing, tears formed in my eyes. I could hear Josh laughing along with me, but his was more unsure as if he didn't understand the joke. I took a few deep breaths and wiped my eyes. 

The waiter looked at me as if I had just murdered a small child. This didn't help the laughing but I managed to gasp out "Just...a...Coke...please." 

The waiter didn't even write it down before walking away from us. I looked at Josh who had a big grin on his face and I could see his eyes dancing over my own smile. "Sorry." I said, once again, this time not flustered.

"You say that a lot, you know that right?" Josh said teasingly, the smile not leaving his face.

I let out a content sigh, "Yeah I know, habit." 

Josh looked at me for a second and I was just about to say something when I noticed he opened his mouth to speak aswell.

"Oh, sorry go ahead."

"No its fine, say what you were going to say." 

Josh did the kind of closed mouth smile that hid your lips and raised his eyebrows slightly as he leaned over the table and lightly brushed my cheek. When his thumb reached my skin, electricity sparked once again. I recoiled instinctivly and looked down at his thumb as he pulled it away, an eyelash resting upon it.

"You had an eyelash." He said softly. "Make a wish."

I closed my eyes for a second, thinking of a wish. Don't lose this one I wished. I was opened my eyes and was about to blow the eyelash away when the waiter put my coke down on the table, causing Josh to move his hand away to make room. 

I looked up at him, a sheepish smile on his face as I brought the bubbly drink to my lips. I put the drink down, and fiddled with my own hands for a moment. 

"What were you going to wish for?" he asked.

"Oh nothing, just a new laptop." I lied.

"Duly noted." 

I smiled at him, I noticed I was doing that a lot tonight. I don't smile a true smile very often and I've noticed that recently, the true one are because of the pink haired fluff ball. 

The food arrived shortly after that, his multiple plates taking over half the table. We talked and shared food until the sun came up, my stupid smile never leaving my face. 

All because of this little drummer boy.


	3. Scar

The professor droned on and on about Washington's Farewell Address. I didn't  seem to be able to stay concentrated on his words. I looked at the crappy laptop opened in front of me and only a couple of lines of notes were written down. I just didn't seem to care that day. I looked around the lecture hall, noticing the diffrent backs of the heads I could see, looking at the diffrent textures of people's hair, the unique styles of backpacks, the outfits they had chosen to bless our eyes with that day. 

As I looked around the room, I couldn't help but think about how everyone had their own story. Every single person in this room had a life, people they loved and hated, stresses and joys. Their individual thoughts were a mystery to me that I wished I could solve. 

The professor asked a question and I watched a couple of hands shoot up and a few more tentative ones. The guy who was sitting in front of me had his hand in the air and I stared at it, noticing the callous that was on his ring finger, most likely from years of school. His fingers were more shorter and his nails were small. People with short fingers don't get enough love, I thought to myself.

I looked down at my own hands, they were long and thin, what most people romanticized in stories. My finger nails were longer than I intended them to be, I made a mental note to clip them later. I turned my hand over, looking at all the lines that had formed over the years. There was a small, raised scar at the base of my index finger, it was a cut that I couldn't remember where I had got it from. On the palm of my hand resided the burn I had gotten a couple months before, it had healed into a flat but noticble scar that changed the skin color into a lighter shade. I ran the fingers of my other hand over the scar, smiling to myself at the thought of how I got it. 

"And it it looks like that's it for today, guys. Don't forget the unit work is due next Tuesday." 

The professors word drew my out of my thoughts and I noticed the people around me putting their stuff away. I quickly closed my laptop and gathered my belongings. 

~~~

"Hey there, Brain!" 

I smiled as Josh walked in with Tyler by his side. They always seemed to eat not during peak, I wondered if they planned it like that so there wouldn't be so many people here. 

I hoped Josh did it so he could talk to me.

Wow, I'm conceded, I joked with my own thoughts. 

"Brain?" Tyler said, his eyebrows raised, a smile creeping up on his lips.

Josh looked at Tyler, stumbling over his words, "Well, you see- uh- I have pink hair- and uh- well actually it's kind faded now but-" 

Tyler watched his friend become flustered, trying not to laugh. 

"Pinky and the Brain." I said matter of factly. "One of them's a genius, the other one's insane." I half sung. 

Tyler looked at me and then to Josh and then back to me, as if he was trying to solve some huge riddle. "Okay, but which one is the insane one?" 

"That's the true question, my dear Tyler." I said with a really bad British accent. They both burst out laughing at how horrendous it was and I couldn't help but laugh to.

"What are we laughing about?" I heard a voice say. I instantly stopped laughing and  the smile fell from my face. It was Holly. 

"Nothing, sorry ma'am." I said quickly and turned back to Josh and Tyler. "What can I get for you today, sirs?" 

Josh looked at me and then at Holly, a concerned look on his face. Holly stood there the whole time as I made their burritos. I let Andy ring them up as I stayed at my end of the line. Josh kept glancing at me as he paid and they decided to eat there. They didn't do this very often, most of the time they left to go do whatever those boys do in their free time. 

I watched from behind the counter as they laughed and talked and goofed around. There was probably two other people who were sitting in the lobby but Josh and Tyler were the loudest.

I went into the back room and cleaned one of the bins for food, half listening to their loud conversation. Suddenly, the talking stopped and I could hear the faintest low talking. I furrowed my eye brows and set the bin down, half cleaned, and walked into the lobby. Josh and Tyler were still sitting at their table but they talked in hushed tones, as if they were discussing something very important. Josh glanced over at me and when he saw I was looking at me, he smiled big, making his eyes crinkle once again. I couldn't help but smile back at his adorable face. He shoved Tyler slightly and made a nodded toward me. Tyler stopped his conversation with Josh, standing up and making his way over to the soda fountain, where I pretended to refill the tea dispenser. He stood right next to me and talked in a hushed tone.

"What time do you get off work?" 

I glanced over at him, "Six o'clock." 

He was quite for a moment, putting the lid on his cup. I almost thought that was the end of the conversation before he spoke once again, "We have something we want to show you. We'll pick you up at 6:15." 

We? As in him and Josh? I went back to work, thinking about what they could both possibly have to show me. 

~~~

I pulled my Chipotle hat off, running fingers through my slightly wavy, short hair, as I waiting outside the restaurant. I sat on the concrete curb, wishing I had a better outfit than my uniform. I checked my phone 6:07 pm. I plugged my headphones into my phone and turned on Pandora. Quickly, music filled my ears, it was that one song that I kept hearing. It was extremely catchy so I unlocked my phone once again to look at what it was called.

Stressed Out by Twenty One Pilots 

What an odd name for a band. Then again, at least it wasn't "Death Cab for Cutie". I think I had actually heard of Twenty One Pilots mentioned sometime before, maybe in some passing conversation, or maybe I saw it printed on a shirt of a customer. They seemed like a pretty good band. I made a mental note to check them out at a later time. 

I closed my eyes, soaking in the lyrics, trying to find meaning behind each word. By the end of the song, I was humming along to the tune. The darkness behind my eyelids morphed into red and I snapped my eyes open, smiling as a familiar car pulled up as the sun set.

I pulled my headphones out of my ears and shoved them into my bag. I grabbed my knees and used them as leverage to push myself up. I noticed Tyler was driving and Josh was in the passenger seat so I opened the back door and threw my bag in, quickly followed by myself. I turned and saw Jenna was sitting behind Tyler. I put my seatbelt, and then turned to them, excitement was plastered all over my face.

"So where we going, guys?" I said. 

Josh looked back, the sunset hitting his chocolate eyes that made them light up in the most magnificent way. I could see the little glints of gold that complimented his eyes nicely. "You'll see, Charlie." Was all he said. 

~~~

We weaved through the twisty roads through the forest. I watched as the trees flew by, green and brown blurs that made hurt my eyes to look at. I looked at the headrest in front of me and I could see the faded pink that was peaking out the top. I looked at each little tuff and curl that intertwined itself with each other and moving slightly with air conditioning. 

I looked down at my hand once again, rubbing the scar that resided there lightly, smiling to myself. I looked at every imperfection the burn had caused. Usually I would be disgusted with scars, but this one was special. 

"Whatcha looking at?" Jenna asked, leaning over to try to see my hand. I instinctivly made a loose fist so that she couldn't see it. She leaned back, a confused look on her face. Josh turned in his seat to see what was happening. 

"Just a scar." I said sheepishly.

Tyler looked in the review mirror, a worried look planted on his face. Josh furrowed his eye brows.

"N-no it's a good scar- not a good scar, I mean like-" I fumbled over my words. Josh reached his arm over the seat, his hand loose, gesturing he wanted to see it. I tentatively rested my hand in his, a slight shock making my wince a bit. He loosely grabbed my hand, and looked at my burn scar deeply, as if trying to read a story. 

"It's recent." He observed. Tyler kept glancing over to try to get a look but also keep his eyes on the road. "Burn?" Josh questioned.

I nodded, my heart beating hard at his touch. "Uh, funny story actually." I said, glancing at his hair.


	4. Amusement

A/N: Happy Halloween, lovelies! I know I just updated yesterday but I wanna update again cause I really like where this is going. 

The car pulled to a stop and my eyes snapped open. I hadn't realized that I had fallen asleep. I was confused for a split second as to where I was and why I was there but it all came back to me when I saw the fellow passengers in the car.

The door next to me suddenly opened and a figure was standing there, unknown to me due the darkness that had surrounded the car. "Hey there, sleepy head." The familiar voice said. 

I smiled up at him, and got out of the car, standing up right next to Josh. I looked up at him slightly, our proximity close. I couldn't see him too well in the night but I could feel his warmth and hear his breathing. It seemed to hitch a bit when I stood close to him but that must have been my imagination.

"Come on, lovebirds," Tyler said suddenly, "We don't got all day." Tyler flashed his phone flashlight on us, slightly blinding me.

I blinked a couple of times and reached back into the car to grab my bag and flung it over my shoulder. I stood back up and closed the door. Josh had moved to join Tyler and Jenna who stood a couple of feet away from the car, obviously ready to go. I pulled my phone out of my bag and turned on the flash light. "Where we headed?" I asked, turning to face the rest of the group.

They didn't answer but just turned and started walking into the forest. I did a quick jog to close the small distance between us and fell instep with Josh. I watched the ground as we walked, making sure I didn't trip over anything. My phone flashlight highlighted the ground around my feet but this glow was surrounded by unknown darkness. I stepped over branches, and made sure not to trip over rocks. I listened to the soft conversations of Tyler and Jenna but I remained relatively silent. Suddenly, I felt a tug on my head and my Chipotle hat was taken off my head. I looked up accusingly but I couldn't help but smile when I saw Josh wearing it.

"It fits you. You should apply for Chipotle!" I joked, breathing out the chilly air.

Josh smiled, but I could barely see it in the darkness. "Nah, way too busy for that. Besides, then I would get tired of it."

"You come in so often, how are you already not tired of it?" I joked.

Josh didn't reply. I hoped I hadn't said something wrong. I looked back down at the ground, furrowing my eyebrows. I wondered why Josh came in so often. It became more and more often too. At first it was maybe once every few weeks. But now it was almost up to two times a week. I mean, Chipotle is good, but how can you eat that much all the time?

"Annnd, here we are!" I heard Tyler said and I raised my head eagerly. I could see the vague outline of small buildings and some odd shapes.

"What is it?" I turned to ask Josh but he was nowhere to be seen. Suddenly I was blinded by an explosion of light. My eyes slowly adjusted and the sight before me drew the breath right out of my lungs. Glittery lights and a soft tune played in front of me.

"Me and Tyler use to come here when we were younger before they shut the place down." Josh said, walking back towards us. "We still come here sometimes. Our own little amusement park."

I looked at all the rides and games with pure joy. I felt like I was five again. "Do they work?" I asked, hope escaping into the words.

Josh nodded, a smile on his face.

I jumped up and down, "Come on, Pinky! What are you waiting for?!" I grabbed his hand without thinking and pulled him into the park. I could hear Tyler and Jenna laughing as I pulled him along. I looked around the empty park, admiring the supposed memories. Josh intertwined his fingers with mine. I pretended not to notice.

We went on many rides, a smile never left any of our faces. It was the best night I had ever had. It also helped that Josh only let go of my hand if he had to but he would always come back to me. It was odd to have someone who wanted to come back to me. Someone who wanted to hold my hand. Who wanted to show me their childhood. Who wanted to show me such wonderful things. 

Around midnight, we all shuffled into the Ferris wheel; Josh and I in one seat, Tyler and Jenna in the one in front of us. The wheel turned slowly and I stared up at the beautiful stars as we neared them. We were so deep in the forest that I could see more of the galaxy than I had for many years.

"They are quite adorable together, aren't they?" Josh said softly, and I brought my line of vision to the couple that was residing in front of us. Jenna was resting her head on Tyler's shoulder and you could hear them softly talking to each other.

I smiled at their love. "Quite."

I looked over at Josh and his face was lit up by the lights of the Ferris wheel. It offered a soft glow to him and I realized how close we really were. Josh turned his head to look at me. The cramped seat let out faces to be inches apart. I could feel his warm breath on my lips. I looked at his eyes but they didn't meet mine. His line of vision was focused on my mouth. "Josh?" I whispered.

"Yeah?" he said, finally meeting my eyes.

My heart melted. I so wanted to close the distance and express my feelings for this fluff ball. I wanted to be loved. I wanted to be cared for. I wanted to be looked at the way Tyler looked at Jenna. I wanted Josh. 

I watched Josh's face as I leaned in slightly.

So many emotions seemed to cross his mind.

He leaned away.

I turned quickly, facing forward. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks in embarrassment.

"S-sorry." We both stumbled out.

"Oh, no need to apologize, silly." I said, trying to play it off and not let the tears that I could feel building up spill out. I was over reacting, I barely knew Josh. I just saw him sometimes at Chipotle. Why was I so hurt? I unraveled my hand from his and grabbed the bar that use to keep me safe but now it felt like it was trapping me here.

"Charlie..." He said softly.

"I'm actually getting kinda tired. Can you take me home now?" I asked and faked a yawn. I looked at him, he looked at me. His eyes looked hurt but that just didn't make sense to me. He was the one who rejected me. He nodded slowly.

"Tyler!" Josh yelled to his friend, "Charlie wants to go home."

Tyler turned back in his seat, looking at me with a confused look but shrug and whispered something to Jenna.

 

The ride home was silent. I wished I could sleep again. It was a long and awkward trip. I gave a quick thank you to the three of them as we arrived at my apartment. I hopped out and was walking away when I heard my name being called. I turned around and saw Josh holding my hat out the window. I walked back to the car, and grabbed the hat quickly.

So quickly, I almost didn't notice the shock.

This time I didn't find the electricity endearing.

I found it annoying.

I made my way up to my apartment and unlocked it quickly. I could hear the asphalt crunching as the car drove away. I dropped my bag just inside the door, closing it behind me. I went to my fridge a pulled out some apple juice. I poured myself a glass and drank it down quickly. I set down the cup and looked at the deformed image of my hand that made its way through the glass. I let go of the cup and looked down at the scar that was on the palm of my hand. The scar seemed to have changed from an adorable story to another imperfection in my life. It hurt to look at it, and to think of the rejection I had encountered.

What a lovely, constant reminder. 

I cried.


	5. Hello

_**1:56 am Missed Call from Josh** _

**2:34 am Josh:** Hello

 **2:46 am Josh** : Oh you are probably asleep

 **2:47 am Josh** : And probably don't wanna talk to me

 **2:59 am Josh** : Well you will see these messages in the morning then

 **3:03 am Josh** : I'm really sorry for last night and I wish I could have changed it

 **3:34 am Josh** : I really do like you, Brain.

 **5:41 am Josh:** I probably should just leave you alone but I can't sleep.

_**7:57 am Missed Call from Josh** _

**8:34 am Josh:** Text me when you wake up, please.

 **8:52 am Josh:** Heading to Chipotle to see if you are working

 **9:10 am Josh** : You weren't working. Of course you aren't working. Why would you hang out with us until midnight if you had work? Silly me

_**9:13 am Missed Call from Josh** _

**9:35 am Josh:** I'm really sorry about last night. I shouldn't have done that.

 **9:47 am Josh** : Will you call me back so I can explain myself? 

 **10:43 am Josh:** Charlotte... 

 

 


	6. World

_"Charlotte, I'm deeply and madly in love with you."_

My mind awoke to the sound of my phone going off. I didn't open my eyes right away, letting the warmth of the dream I just had fill my heart. It was one of those dreams that didn't quite make sense but they brought you joy anyways. My chest seemed to be fluttering with happiness but my annoying phone went off again. 

I rolled over on my queen sized bed, feeling the sheets wrap around me. I blindly grabbed at my phone that was on my side table, knocking my glasses onto the ground. Finally I found the wretched noise maker. I put it right next to my face and turned the display on, causing momentary blindness. 

**13 New Messages from: Josh**

**3 Missed Calls from: Josh**

I sighed, last night came rushing back into my mind. I set my phone face down next to my face, not ready to look at the messages. I moaned and flipped over onto my back and stared at the light grey popcorn ceiling that resided above me. I looked at every crevice and canyon that made up my ceiling. I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to look at my phone. I didn't want to deal with my problems, with Josh, or with the world. I wanted to crawl up and sleep the day away. I pulled my comforter up to my chin and took a deep breath. 

I had been told my room smelt faintly of vanilla but I couldn't tell anymore due to the many hours I had spent here. It was silent. Too silent. 

_Why didn't he kiss you? Its obvious. He was way out of your league. He doesn't like you. He was just being nice. Ha, welcome to the town of Friendzone, population: ONE._

I closed my eyes tightly, wincing at the thought of never being able to hold Josh's hand again. I will never be able to see what his hair looks like when he first wakes up. Or the warmth of his arms around me. I'll never know the feeling of his lips upon mine. I'll never know what it feels like to be loved by him. 

My phone rang once again. I winced at the sound. I opened my eyes slowly and mentally prepared myself to face Josh in the most cool and relaxed way possible. I grabbed my phone and unlocked it without looking at who it was. I put it to my ear and put on a fake cheery voice.

"Hey, Josh!" 

"Oo, who's Josh? Is it a guy at work?" my mother's voice said. 

"Oh, hey, mom." I said, sitting up in my bed. 

I loved my mom so much. She wasn't perfect by all means but she tried and she made me smile. Sometimes the best people are the ones that make you smile. They are the true heros. 

"Hey, sweetheart. It's been a while!" she said cheerfully. 

"Yeah, I know, it's been pretty crazy with school and work..."

"And Josh...." my mother added slyly. 

She didn't know how much her words were stabbing me in the heart. That's the worst communication, not knowing you are hurting the other person.

"Heh, I guess." I said, trying to hide the pain in my voice. 

Mom's must have a crazy six-sense because she saw right through my fakeness.

"What happened?" my mom asked, sternly. 

"Oh, uh..." I looked down at the free hand that laid limply on my lap. The burn resided there I knew but it was hard to make out in the dim light of my room. "He didn't like me back." 

My mom was silent for a moment, as if waiting for me to say more. She was good at that, waiting until you were finished. My dad wasn't patient with his thoughts and often got excited by new ones. He interrupted a lot but my mom found it endearing. 

"Charlotte, I know you have always dreamed of finding the one. You always looked up to me and your father and I realize that. Everyone wants to be loved. I just want you to know that you _are_ loved. I know, I know, it isn't in the way you want but really love is love. Your friends love you. Your coworkers love you. Your father loves you. I love you. Just because some Josh doesn't, doesn't make it the end of the world. Why worry about one person who doesn't love you when you have a million who do? You can get through this. I promise." 

I smiled. My mom seemed to always to know just the thing to make everything seem okay. "Thank you, mama. I love you too." I said, tears forming in my eyes. "Thank you for being there when I need you."

"Always." 

 

One long conversation later, we finally said our 'goodbye's and 'I love you's. I hung up and realized that I had basically traveled my whole apartment while on the phone with my mom, eaten lunch, and actually cleaned a bit. It seems I can only be productive if I am distracted, which doesn't really make sense, I realized. Maybe it was my mother's influence that made me feel like I needed to take care of myself. 

I flopped on my couch and turned on the t.v., Netflix's log appearing on the screen. My phone chimed again and I picked it up blindly, looking through what I wanted to watch on t.v. I drew my attention away from the big screen to look at the small one that rested in my hand.

**14 New Messages from: Josh**

**3 Missed Calls from: Josh**

I sighed and thought about my mother's words before opening the messages. Fourteen messages from the drummer flooded my screen and I read over each one. I didn't know how to react. I wasn't trying to ignore him out of spite, I was just kind of numb to it. The most recent message read:

 ** _12:36 am_ Josh: ** Can I at least get some kind of response? 

I thought back to last night. He didn't like me like I liked him, quite obviously. He may have said that he did in his messages but he didn't _like_ like me, no matter how juvenile that sounds. I couldn't deny that feelings for that pink haired man had burrowed their way into my heart but even if I didn't feel that way about Josh, he was still a really nice and down to earth guy to hang out with. He doesn't like me back, so what. 'It's not the end of the world.' as my mother said. He can still be a really chill friend. 

 ** _12:38_ Me: **Hey Josh, sorry was asleep then mom called. 

I didn't mention that I had been scared to text back or that I had had an emotional break down the night before. Instantly my phone started ringing. I looked down at the caller I.D. and it showed a dorky picture of Joshua. I took a deep breath, calming my nerves and hit answer. 

"Hey there, Pinky! How you doing?" I asked cheerfully. 

He was silent for a moment and I checked to see if my phone had registered that I had chosen to answer the call. 

"Charlie?"

"Yes, Josh?"

"Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, because..." he seemed to not want to say the words, "of last night."

I did a fake laugh, but I knew that Josh didn't know like me enough to know the difference. "Silly, Pinky, the world doesn't revolve around you! I'm fine, really!" I noticed how cheery my words sounded and winced at their insincerity. My mom said I can get through this. I just need to remember the love that the people around me have for me and not dwell on the love that Josh doesn't have for me. 

"Are you sure?" Josh asked. "'Cause I really wanted to clear some things up." 

"I'm fine. I promise."

I was never really good at keeping promises. 

"Alright, if you say so..." He didn't sound like his normal self. He seemed gloomy and tired. It probably didn't help that he hadn't gotten any sleep the night prior. 

"I mean," I rambled. "Why do you even care? We are just friends."

"Just friends..." he repeated quietly. 

"Yeah! Nothin' more." 

"Nothing more..."

"Suddenly, I feel as in I'm in an empty cavern. Quite the echo in here." I said, trying to crack a joke.

A single, half-hearted laugh came across the speaker in my phone and my heart broke just a little. 

"Are you okay, Josh?" 

"Peachy." 

~

I went back to work on Monday. The days seemed long and Josh didn't show up. The anticipation of wanting to see those pink curls walk into my little Chipotle was killing me. 

_This isn't the end of the world._

Tuesday, no pink hair. 

Wednesday, no combat boots.

Thursday, no crinkled eyes.

Friday, no calloused fingers.  

~

 **11:03 pm.** I jump as I hear a knock on my door. I pause the show I was watching. What an interesting way to spend my Saturday night. 

I unravel myself from the blanket that was holding me in a cocoon and made my way to the door. I looked through the little peephole, scared of what I'd see. It was quite the irrational fear, why would a burglar or a murder knock on my front door? My heart pounded never the less and I was more shocked by what I saw then I expected. 

Pink. 

I stepped back and took a deep breath. I was going to tell Josh how I felt. Even though I had obviously expressed it by going in for a kiss last week, he needed to know how I felt in words. Maybe if he heard it, he would understand more. I opened the door.

"You can't just not show up for a week and then-" I began.

Josh took one big step, put his large hands on either side of my face. He brought his face centimeters from mine and I could feel his breath against my lips once again. 

"Joshua," I whispered. "What are you-"

"Charlotte,  I will not kiss you." He said, and then crashed his lips into mine.  

 


	7. Week

Josh's P.O.V.

"And-and I leaned away." I said ashamed.

"What the frick dude?" Tyler half yelled at me. "I thought you liked her?"

I thought back to the first time I saw that girl. Her little Chipotle hat covered her short hair but the rest of her uniform complimented her curves nicely. She was only a few inches shorter than me and she had the adorablist little gages that added a bit of punk to her. Her high cheekbones made her eyes slightly squinted all the time in the cutest possible way. Her teeth weren't bright white, she wasn't skinny, she stumbled over her words, she wasn't perfect and I loved it. I loved her adorable little dimple that would show itself with only the truest of smiles. I loved the millions of indents that appeared on her chin when she pursed her lips. I loved that her eyebrows weren't drawn on and we're perfectly imperfect. I loved that her fingers were longer than most. I loved that she had a scar on her hand. I loved-

"Yeah, I do like her." I said, interrupting my own thought when I realised I hadn't replied. "I was just scared."

"To kiss her? You've kissed girls before, Josh, I know you have." Tyler says in a matter of fact tone.

I looked at my best friend then at the ground. I noticed how my sneakers looked compared to the carpeted floor of Tyler's room. "I was scared of leaving her."

I could feel Tyler's gaze on me and he was silent for a moment. "Oh." Was all he said.

"Yeah, man. And now she won't reply to my texts."

"Well," Tyler said. I looked up and watched him deep in his thoughts trying to think of a solution to my problem like he often times did. "I don't know what to tell you, man. Maybe you should take a week break from her and see how you feel? I mean, a week is nothing compared to what is too come."

I thought about it. A week without Charlie. The Brain to my Pinky. A week without her beautiful hazel eyes and dimpled cheeks.

"So I just have not see her for a week? And that will tell me if I'll be able to survive?"

"Yeah, and don't kiss her in the coming week. Cause if you do, you'll be done for." Tyler said, knowing me all too well.

I nodded slowly, tentivly.

~~~

Monday, I will not kiss her. It felt wierd to not walk into Chipotle. To not order my regular and watch Charlie create my meal in the most uniquely graceful way.

Tuesday, I will not kiss her. It felt odd to not text her. To not see hear Charlie's notification sound emit from my phone in the most beautifully excited way.

Thursday, I will not kiss her. It felt bad to no longer hold her hand. To not feel her soft fingers intertwined with mine in the most perfectly wanted way.

Friday, I will not kiss her. It felt horrible to not see her smile. To not see her slightly crooked teeth turn show themselves in the most joyously heart-warming way.

Saturday.

I will not kiss her.

It hurt not to see her.

I walked up to her apartment door, my hands shaking. This was a horrible week.

I didn't think it would be as bad as it was but I just kept repeating my mantra as I lifted my hadn't to knock on the door.

I will not kiss her.

Knock.

I will not kiss her.

Knock.

I will not kiss her.

The door opens.

I will not kiss her.

There she stands so beautiful with her beautifully messy hair, her beautiful puffy eyes, her beautiful curves protruding due to the cut of her tanktop and sweatpants, her beautiful lips.

Those lips formed words but they were null to me. I took one step forward and placed my hands on either side of her face.

"Joshua," she whispered, her breath tickling my lips. "What are you-"

"Charlotte, I will not kiss you."

I broke my promise to myself.

This was the best promise I have ever broken.

Her lips didn't move at first but when they did, it felt like I was being caressed gently with silk. She seemed to melt in my hands, her entire tense demeanor changing.

I pulled away slowly, breathing hard due to my sudden courage.

I opened my eyes, and looked at her, her own eyes remained closed for a second. I noticed the slight shine that made an appearance on her eyelids and smiled to myself.

"Charlie." I whispered.

Her hazel eyes revealed themselves in the most magnificent way, causing my breath to hitch. I looked at her eyes, glancing between the two, appreciating the multitude of colors that made them up. I waited for her to say something but she seemed just as preoccupied with my own eyes. Suddenly I felt self-conscious about my boring, brown eyes.

"Josh." She finally whispers back.

I never thought my name could sound so beautiful.

"I kissed you." I said, half way to myself, releasing my hold on her face.

"Yes," she chuckled, "You did." I could a fire igniting in her cheeks as she looked down at the floor. "Why-Why did you that exactly?"

I looked at the breathtaking girl in front of me. "Because, Charlotte, you're the most beautiful creation I've ever been blessed with seeing."

She looked up at me with so much hope in her eyes that in that moment, I knew, Tyler was right.

I was done for. 

 


	8. Roommate

**Currently writing these while watching the AMAs and my babies are so freaking cute and I'm so proud of them.**

**-**

Rhythmic breathing hit my cheek softly. A muscular arm lay heavily just below my breasts. I opened my eyes and instantly regretted falling asleep with my contacts in. I go to move my arm and realize there is an entire body laying on it. I turn my head and notice an asleep Josh Dun laying there peacefully.

His faded pink curls were spread out over my black sheets and there was just the slightest bit of precipitation residing on his forehead. His usually furrowed eyebrows were relaxed in the most peaceful way and his pink rose petal lips were parted.

We must have fallen asleep talking. After last night's kiss, we stayed up until three am talking about anything we could think of. Our families, our childhoods, our homes, our likes, our dislikes, our thoughts on life. Nothing more had happened. Just talking, for hours and hours.

With every little thing he said, I wanted to be his more and more.

"You're staring." he mumbled suddlenly, not opening his eyes but causing me to jump nevertheless.  A smile creeps up in his lips and he opens his eyes, his mocha eyes making a wonderful appearance. 

"Sorry." I said, feeling my cheeks warm.

He didn't say anything but just push up slightly and kissed my rosy cheek. I smiled and pushed his heavy arms off of my ribs.

"Nooo!" he groaned, fighting to keep his arm wrapped around me.

I looked at him, "Josh, my eyes are killing me."

"I mean I know I'm ugly but geez." He joked letting go of me.

"Yes, so ugly." I said sarcasticly, sitting up and rubbing my face. I feel Josh's fingers drawing random things on my back that was covered by my old Nirvana shirt. "That's tickles, Pinky." I said, squirming under his touch. I look back at him and a evil grin spreads across his face. "Josh." I warned, pointing at him.

His hands make their way to my sides and I can't help but laugh my possessed laugh as he tickles my sides. I kick my legs and try to get away but he grabs me and pulls me back down, torturing me. "Josh!" I laugh out, my ribs hurting, "Joshua!" He doesn't stop, "Joshie!" He stops finally and I look at him, the smiles not leaving either of our faces.

"Okay but 'Joshie' is freaking adorable." He says and kisses my nose. I wrinkle my face up in response and get up.

"You need to get out, my roomm-"

"CHARRRROOOOLLLOOOTTTEEE!" My front door slammed and panic set in. I look at Josh and he almost fell out of my bed trying to get up.

"You have a roommate?" He whispers yelled as he made his way around the bed to where I stood.

"Uh" I managed to get out before my bedroom door swung open and there stood my tiny friend.

"HONEY I'M HOME!" She yelled. She had a surprisingly loud voice for such a tiny person. Her long dirty blonde hair was tied back in a messy pony tail and she had no makeup on. She had taken a long-ass plane ride from New York from visiting her boyfriend who lived there. Her name was Daisy and she was the definition of sass.

She looked from me to Josh then back to me.

"Hey, Daisy." I said sheepishly. Josh looked at me and then put on a smile and walked up to her.

"Hi, I'm Josh-"

"You're Joshua Dun." she squeaked out, her whole demeanor changing and Josh's smile dropped.

I furrowed my eyebrows, not expecting that reaction. "You know him?" I asked, taking a step and stand next to him.

"Know him?" She asked shocked, "I-"

"Yeah!" Josh said quickly, "We were old friends from school."

Daisy looked at Josh completely bewildered. He raised his eyebrows at her and she nodded slowly. "Yeah," she said slowly, "Oh yeah! That's where I remember you from, yeah we use to be friends at that Christian school I told you about, Char!"

"You never told me about-" I stared to say but I was interrupted. There seemed to be a lot of interruptions in this conversation.

"It doesn't matter. It's wonderful to see you again, Daisy!" Josh said giving her a big hug. I could see the panic in Daisy's eyes as she hugged him back.

"Uh, okay..." I said, scratching the back of my neck, "Well, welcome back Daisy, Imma go get releave my eyes from their pain."

I turn and head to my bathroom, leaving the old friends to catch up. I quickly took out my contacts that were still killing my eyes and I splashed water over my face, washing the sleep off. I could hear quiet mumbling coming from my room and was semi worried that Daisy would flirt with Josh. Daisy was the kind of girl who flirted with anyone attractive, even though she had an extremly handsome boyfriend in New York. David didn't mind that she flirted as long as nothing happened and I knew Daisy loved David too much to ever do anything more.

I ran my fingers through my hair and let out a deep breath, put on a happy smile, and walked out of my bathroom, glasses now on my face. Josh and Daisy were taking a selfie in the kitchen and I couldn't help but smile.

"You guys must have been close in school." I said and Daisy quickly lowered her phone ashamed.

Josh looked at me with the cutest look on his face and he opened his mouth to say something but his phone went off before he could get his words out. He smiled sheepishly and took it out and pressed answer.

"Oh hey Ty-"

"No, I'm fi-"

"Sorry man, I lost tra-"

"Oh crap, I forgot that was today, I-"

"Yeah, of course I do."

"Yeah."

"Yeah, I'm on my way. Sorry, man."

"Okay, I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

He hung up and put his phone in his back pocket. He walked up to me and kissed my forehead, "I gotta head out, Brain. I'll text you later."

I smiled up at him, "Take care, Pinky. Don't die." A small chuckle escaped his lips and he shook his head as he walked away.

"Was nice meeting you, Daisy." He said and gave a small wave as he closed the front door behind him.

As soon as he left, Daisy exploded, "OHMYGOD YOU'RE DATING JOSHUA DUN!"

I laughed, "Well not exactly dating but-"

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!" she yelled, ignoring me and jumping around.

"You must have really known him." I chuckled.

"Oh you have no idea."

~~~

"Ms. Harris?"

I looked up from my laptop, a man stood there, he had a hooked nose and black hoodie on. I shifted in my seated uncomfortable by the stranger's presense. I came to this coffee shop to be alone and didn't appreciate being bothered.

"Who's asking?" I asked. 

He smiled sheepishly, "Oh sorry, I'm Mark, I'm a friend of Josh?"

Instantly my demeanor changed, "Oh hi!" I said, "Please take a seat!"

He remained standing awkwardly and I furrowed my eyebrows. "Actually, I'm here to take you somewhere."

I looked up at him for a second, not quite processing what he was saying. "Uh," I looked down at the homework on my laptop screen, "Where?"

Mark smiled, "It's a surprise." I nodded slowly and began packing my stuff, a voice in the back of my mind warning me that he might not even know Josh and this could be some kidnapping that I was just going to volunterily. "I won't kill you, I promise. Josh just wants to show you something." He said, seemingly reading my hesitant manner.

I smiled up at him and followed him to his car.

~~~

As we entered the unfamiliar room, I saw a sound board littered with hundreds of buttons and sliders and nobs. Above it there was a glass window that showed a room full of instruments and microphones. Josh sat at the drums, concentration plastered on his face. Tyler sat on top of his piano, talking to Josh but I couldn't hear it due to the sound proof room.

Mark poked his head into the room and Josh's head snapped up expectingly and a huge smile spread across his face at the words Mark spoke that I couldn't hear.

Mark looked back at me and gestured me to walk in. I stepped through the door and I heard a crash as a symbol fell to the ground and Josh stumbled out of his drum kit. He jogged the short distance between us, pretending he hadn't caused the mess that was behind him.

"Hey, Charlie!" He said, wrapping his arms around me. I smiled and returned the hug, looking over his shoulder to see a concerned look on Tyler's face.

"Hi, Joshie. What's going on?" I said as he let go of me.

"Oh yes!" He said turning and looking around the room of instruments, "We are recording a song!"

"Recording a song? You're band must really be picking up." I said, pride filling my heart.

Tyler scoffed, hopping off the piano, "You could say that."

I looked at him confused and looked at Josh for an explanation. He looked back at me, scratching the back of his neck.

"But yeah, you can sit out there and you'll be able to hear us from inside the booth." He said, pointing to the window and I nodded, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before heading into the adjoining room.

I watched through the window as the boys headed back to the room and smiled at Mark and the other sound board guy that was also in the room.

"You boys ready?" The guy asked, speaking into the microphone. The boys nod and he gives them a thumbs up, signaling that he was now recording. Tyler nods again and his voice rings out through the booth.

_"All my friends are heathens take it slow."_

 


	9. Bliss

_bliss  
blis/Submit  
noun  
1.  
perfect happiness; great joy._  
  
  
"That was amazing, Pinky!"   
  
Josh smiled at me as I walked into the recording studio. His eyes crinkled up in the most particular way that made a smile grow on my face as well. He had that affect on me and I loved it. I loved having something to smile about.   
  
Tyler coughed and then looked at me with a shit-eating grin.   
  
"Oh you were good too, I guess."   
  
Tyler looked at me as if I had offended his entire culture and ancestors.  
  
"Excuse me, I was fantastic." Tyler said but he broke almost instantly, sending us all into a fit of laughter.   
  
After we had all settled down, I sat down at one of the random stools that resided in the room.   
  
"So, is that song going on an album or something?" I asked, looking down to pick at the dirt under my nails.   
  
I wasn't met by an answer so I lifted my head to look at the boys and they both seemed to be arguing without even actually saying words. Finally, Tyler turned, looked at me and said,  
  
"Yeah, I guess you could say that. It's going in a movie."  
  
"Whoa, that is so cool!" I said, "What mo-"  
  
"Hey, I'm kinda hungry." Josh suddenly declared.   
  
Tyler glared at Josh and seemed to be mulling over thoughts in his mind. "Fine. Lets get dinner." Tyler said, obviously annoyed. "I'll call Jenna."  
  
~~~  
  
A couple of days later, the first snow fell.  
  
I was wrapped up in my cacoon of a comforter on my bed, the warmth of my own body bouncing off the walls of my confinement. From behind the wall, I could hear Daisy's snores that was otherwise surrounded by the silence of winter. I had previously opened my window and set a towel at the crack of my door to keep as much cold in as I could.   
  
I breathed in, feeling the chilled air fill my lungs, sending shivers down my spine and goosebumps up my arm. I felt my core shaking as I peaked out from under the protection of my blankets and saw the most beautiful site outside my window.  
  
Snow.  
  
It was the first snow of the winter. The prettiest of them all. It always seemed to be the gentlest aswell, the small flakes falling gracefully toward the ground. A smile spread across my blue lips and I closed my eyes to breath in the magical air. It seemed like all sound had stopped and in that moment, I felt true bliss.   
  
I opened my eyes once again and watched the streetlights glisen over each snowflake.   
  
I heard my phone go off softly, for it was burried under the seemingly thousands of blankets on my bed. I rolled over in my cacoon and looked at the red numbers that made the time on my alarm clock.  
  
 **2:31 AM**  
  
I sighed and dug through my blankets, finally pulling out my hidden phone, turning on the screen. It was increadbly bright in contrast to the dark room around me. I blinked a couple of times and let my eyes focus.  
  
 _ **2:30 AM** Josh: it's snowing_ ❄  
  
A smile crept up on my lips.   
  
 _ **2:31 AM** Me: i know, its beautiful  
  
 **2:32 AM** Josh: imma go out to explore. wanna come?  
  
 **2:32 AM** Me: i'd love to but i have my last final in the morning_  
  
Already, I knew that I was going to give in and go explore with the pink haired boy.  I would even go if I had to save the world the next day. I sat up in my bed and grabbed my glasses off my nightstand, sliding them onto my face. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and pushed myself up, my fuzzy socks reaching the ground. I made my way over to my closet and pulled a thick, army green jacket over my pajamas.  Josh hadn't responded so I grabbed my phone again.  
  
 __ **2:34 AM** Me: so are you coming or not?  
  
 **2:34 AM** Josh: already here  
  
  
  
Our respective crunches sychronized as we made our way down the sidewalk. The silent street was spread out in the most particular way that was reserved for Tuesday night, two in the morning, snowy strolls. The street lights casted yellow shadows over the empty road. An occasional gust of wind blessed my ears with some sound other than our footsteps.  My hands were hidden in the pockets of my jacket, trying to stay as warm as they could.  
  
"You know," Josh said, causing me to look over at him, "I've been told my hands are pretty warm."  
  
A smiled teased on my lips, "Oh yeah? Prove it."   
  
I let my hand come out of its hiding and instantly his hand became intertwined with mine. His head radiated into my skin reminding me of the burn that resided there. It was so interesting how something so ugly could have such a wonderful outcome. An outcome of late night, snow appreciating walks with the pink fluff ball by my side.    
  
I could feel my core shaking in an attempt to not freeze and the tip of my nose felt like it was going to fall off, but I didn't care.   
  
He was my new bliss.  
  
  
  
The familiar playground came into view as we rounded another courner. I squeezed Josh's hand out of excitement and began half jogging to my childhood memories. When we arrived, I turned and began to walk backwards, still holding his hand.  
  
"You showed me your childhood, let me show you mine."   
  
I pulled him over to the swing set him in one of the seats. I sat on the one next to him.  
  
I looked over at him and he had a huge smile plastered on his face. "Farthest jumper wins." He said and than instantly took steps back, then released, letting the swing swing forward.   
  
I laughed at his childlike joy and copied his actions. After a few good pumps, I was going pretty high up, and Josh was struggling to catch up in height. I looked up at the sky when I would reach the end of my arch and watch the moment of stillness as the snow fell before gravity pulled me back down the other way.   
  
"Are you ready?" Josh yelled, pulling me from my fascination with the weather.   
  
"You know it, babe." I replied and readied myself for lift off. When I reached to peak of my height, I let go of the swing and flew for that short time between my seat and the ground. My feet hit the ground hard, sending tingles through them. I heard Josh land further back and I turned around. I was about to celebrate but suddenly Josh tripped over his own feet and pulled me down with him.  
  
He lay above me, holding himself up with his arms on either side. He was maybe an inch away from my face.  
  
"Babe, huh?" Josh said with a smirk.   
  
"Yeah, babe. " I replied, "Whatcha gunna do about it?"  
  
He didn't say anything but leaned in gently, placing a soft kiss on my lips. Our lips felt cool against each other and he smelt of peach. As he pulled away and looked back into my eyes, I couldn't help but smile at this little drummer boy.   
  
This. This, was bliss.


	10. Darkness

_dark·ness_   
_ˈdärknəs/_   
_noun_   
_1._   
_the partial or total absence of light._

The next snow wasn't as magical.

Finals never seemed so stressful until this year. My last year of college. If I fail, I can't graduate.

I pulled my forest green jacket over my body and tied a maroon scarf around my neck.

Walking past Daisy drinking coffee in the kitchen, I gave a quick goodbye before making my way out of the apartment. I could hear a faint wishing of good luck from behind the closed door.

A breath escaped my lips and I could see the swirly warmth that contrasted the wintery air so much that it was able to be seen by the human eye. I hugged my bookbag to my body with hope that I remembered everything.

I went down the stairs and heading to the small car that I called my own in the parking lot. I got in quickly, trying to escape the cold. Rumbling my car to life, the vents started blowing out cool air and my hand instinctivly turned them off.

One short drive and a snowy parking lot later, I pulled the front door open of my university. I had just made it into the heat when my phone went off with a notification. I quickly dug it out of my bag and turned on the screen.

_**10:28 AM** Josh: Good luck today, babe_

~~~

Crawling into my sanctuary I call my bed, my heart feels as low as I could possibly imagine. A knot formed in my throat and tears began brimming behind my eyes.

I layed there with the curtains drawn but the noon sun peaked through. I was not crying, just dwelling in my Darkness. The cloudiness of my mind ruining most trains of thought. I didn't close my eyes, I just stared into the darkness that surrounded me.

I don't know how long I layed there but by the time my phone went off, the sun has gone down and my room was as dark as I felt. I rolled over, my muscles sore from not moving, and grabbed my phone off from my side table. My contacts had dried out as I pulled them out and slid my glasses on. The screen of my phone was way too bright for my taste and I quickly turned it down. The message came into focas.

_**7:01 PM** Josh: hey, girlie, you never texted me after the exam, how did you do?_

_**7:02 PM** Me: dont feel like talking right now_

He never replied so I set my phone down and rolled back over, seeping back into Darkness.

I didn't feel anything for a bit, my whole body felt numb. I didn't hear the knock on the front door, nor Daisy answering it. I didn't hear the faint conversation or my bedroom door open. I didn't hear those combat boots walking across the hardwood floors of my room and then being struggled with to be taken off. I didn't hear my bed creak or the blankets russel.

I did hear the breath on my cheek and feel the strong arm wrap around my ribs, pulling me against his body.

It was the first thing I felt in this room and it broke me.

Tears began spilling out and my lungs struggled to breath. My whole body heaved as if all the emotions has punched my in the stomach.

He pulled me closer, running his hands through my hair, seemingly not caring about my ugly sobbing.

He just whispered softly, "Now you just cry all you want, babe, then you'll feel a bit better. Then you can lie still again if you want and I'll lie with you. I won't leave you, babe, ever."

My sobs rang out through the Darkness and with every heave of breath, it faded. Josh's words, his warmth, his presence were my support in fighting through my Darkness.

We layed there for a while, me crying and Josh just being there. He was my beautiful Light.

After my sobs had faded and turned into sniffles, Josh whispered again.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I layed there for a moment, his words ringing in my ears.

"It's stupid." I whispered back.

He was silent, almost pondering what to say.

"Did you fail?" He asked softly.

I shook my head slowly, "Worse. I passed."

Josh was silent once again. I could tell I had confused him. I sighed and rolled over to be facing him. I couldn't see him in the pitch black of my room but I could feel his breath on my face and that was good enough for me.

"I'm done. I'm done with school. I have to be an adult now. I have to go get my job and teach little kids. I have no more homework. I have no more essays to write. I'm done."

"And that's bad?" Josh asked.

"No...yes. I don't know." I said, my voice fading away and I could feel myself closing off again.

"Don't fall back. Fall forward, Charlie. Fall into my arms. Let me catch you."

I could feel his arms tighten around me and I let my head nuzzle into his chest. He gave me a moment to get my words together.

"I'm scared, Josh."

"We all are, Charlie. That's the best part of life. Getting to be scared, to conquer our fears, to fall in love, to have our heart broken, to follow our dreams, to scream from the rooftops and to be scared to fall."

I layed there for a moment, soaking in his words and breathing in his scent. I nodded, letting him know that he had won. He had knocked out my Darkness for the time being. My heart filled with his Light and it brought a smile to my face.

He unwrapped himself from me and I instantly felt colder with him gone. I frowned as I felt the bed move and his weight was gone. I heard his socks pad across the floor and I was attacked by the sudden light that he had caused by just the flick of the lightswitch.

He made his way over to me, grabbing my hand and pulling me up. He stood me in front of him, admiring me for a moment. He turned and grabbed my glasses of the nightstand, putting them on my face. He smoothed my hair down and wiped the dried tears off my face. He left his hands on either side of my face, and leaned in slowly. He planted a soft kiss on my lips before pulling away and making his way to my bedroom door.

"What are you doing?" I asked, my voice rough from having to use it at its full volume.

He turned to me smiling and swung the door open. He looked at me with the glint of joy in his eyes and said the most impactful thing I have ever heard.

_"We're alive. Let's prove it."_

 


	11. Sunshine

**_Very, very short, filler chapter. Sorry._ **

_sun·shine_  
_ˈsənˌSHīn/Submit_  
_noun_  
_cheerfulness; happiness._

  
"Okay, but why? _"_

"You don't like it?" Josh said with a pout, running his hands through his hair. We were standing in my room, he had just arrived to my apartment when I saw his hair.

I scanned his hair, "I...I like it, but why _yellow_?"

He frowned and scrunched his eyebrows, "I thought it was your favorite color."

I looked at his face then looked up at his neon yellow hair, "Who told you that?"

"Dai- Oh. She was messing with me wasn't she."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Oh no, you were trying to be sweet!" I pulled him in, wrapping my arms around his torso. His strong arms engulfed me, his body radiating heat.

Loosening my grip on him, I looked up once again at his hair.

"You better not make any stupid nicknames like Pisshead or something." Josh said, scrunching up his nose.

I kissed his nose lightly and a grin spread across his lips.

"I promise I won't call you Pisshead. But you do need a new nickname, 'Pinky' won't work anymore."

Looking at this goofball in front of me, I felt so much joy in my heart. I never thought I would have someone so amazing even be intrested in me. He was my light, my sun, my Jishwa.

Josh took my hand and walked me over to my bed.

"Joshua, calm youself. I'm not that easy."

A blush spread across his pale cheeks, "Shut up, Brain. I just wanted cuddles."

I smiled and got into bed with him, curling up next to him. I layed my head on his chest, listening to deep thumps of his heart. His lungs filling and deflating cause my head to rise and fall. He had one arm wrapped around me and the other running through my short hair.

"Brain," he said.

"Yes, Joshua?"

"I have a very importent question to ask you."

My heart started pouding in anticipation.

"What is it, Josh?" I asked, tentivly.

He took a deep breath, "What do you want for Christmas?"

I hit his chest lightly, sitting up. He sat up too.

"Hey! What was that for?"

"You scared me half to death!"

"What? Why?"

I looked down at my hands, a blush creeping up on my cheeks.

"Oh," Josh said, and I could hear the smile in his words. He wrapped one arm around my waist a pulled me close to him. "Were you thinking I was gunna ask you to be my girlfriend?"

I looked at him, my cheeks feeling warmer than they have in a long time. "What- no."

"Oh," he said, unwrapping himself from me, "Well that's too bad. I was gunna ask you anyways, but apparently you don't want me to."

I scrunched up my nose, thinking for a second. "Okay, _fine_. You can ask me, _I guess_."

He smiled huge, "Charlotte Harris, will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?"

I looked at him, his eyes sparkling because of the sun shining though the window. "Joshua Dun, it would be my pleasure."

He leaned in and softly planted a kiss on my lips. The yellow-haired dork pulled be back down and hugged me tight against him.

We layed there for a while, in perfect contentness.

"Charlie?" He finally said.

I looked up at him, "Yes, Josh?"

"Will you sing for me?"

I furrowed my eyebrows, "What do you want to hear?"

"Anything." He said softly.

I thought for a moment before a shit-eating grin spread across my lips.

"You are my Dun-shine,  
My only Dun-"

I was inturruped by being pushed off the bed. 


	12. Coffee

_cof·fee_   
_ˈkôfē,ˈkäfē/Submit_   
_noun_   
_1._   
_a drink made from the roasted and ground beanlike seeds of a tropical shrub, served hot or iced._

"I don't play basketball, Tyler." I said, watching the breath tumble out of my mouth against the freezing air.

Tyler stood infront of me, dribbling a basketball against the concrete, a smirk on his face. He bounced the ball to me without saying anything, an inventation to play. I grabbed the ball, and brought it up to my hip, denying him the game.

"Oh come on!" Tyler says, leaning back dramatically and looking up at the cloudy sky.

"I barely know how the game even works!" I spewed, trying to come up with an excuse so that I didn't have to embarrass myself infront of my brand new boyfriend's best friend.

"Then we can just shoot hoops!" Tyler offers excitedly and lunges at me, grabbing the ball out of my unexpecting hands. He turns and expertly makes the ball fly straight into the hoop.

He looks back at me, opening his arms as in a way to say, "Beat that!"

I scowl at him and turn to walk back to the warmth of the car.

"No, no, no, no, no! Come on, Charlie," Tyler says grabbing my arm with his freezing hands, "Jenna said I should get to know you and that's what I'm trying to do, so could you just play along?"

I look at him for a moment, debating if I wanted to be out in the freezing cold for an hour playing a game that I wasn't good at.

"Here," Tyler said, "we don't even have to play, we could just say we did just go to some local coffee place."

A smile crept up on my face and I nodded happily. Tyler smiled back at me and ran to get the forgotten basketball as I made my way back to the car.

Sitting in the small café, my hands were wrapped around the warm coffee in my hands.

"So," Tyler said. He was sitting across from me but leaning against the wall in his chair, looking at the people that occupied the coffee shop.

"So," I replied.

Tyler was quiet for a moment, contemplating what he could possibly talk to me about.

"So, how's working at Chipotle?" Tyler offered.

"It's okay, pretty stressful, to be honest. But it works for now."

"Oh what do you want to do?" Tyler asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

I looked down at my own drink, a sheepish smile spreading over my lips. "I want to be a teacher. I'm finished with my finals so I just get my piece of paper then I can hopefully getting a job teaching little ones. I think seeing their young minds being shaped by the knowledge I can provide is absolutly amazing."

Tyler smiled big, " I see why Josh likes you so much."

My eyes widened in surprise, a blush crept up my neck.

Tyler's eyes widened too, "No, no, no, I wasn't hitting on you!" He points to the black ring on his finger, "I'm married. I was just trying to say you seem like a nice person and you seem like a good fit for Josh and dammit he told me not to mess this up."

I gave a slight chuckle, "It's fine, thank you," I'm was silent for a moment, processing his words, "Wait, I thought Jenna told you to do this?"

Tyler burried his face into his hands and muffled words escaped his lips, "He told me not to tell you but he really likes you and he wanted me to like you too even though I already thought you were cool, he insisted that we hang out and he really wants this to go well."

My heart began to flutter of the thought of gaining Tyler's approval. "He must really care about your opinion."

Tyler nods, dragging his hands down his face, "He has never cared this much though, you must be special."

Tyler's exasperated face turned into a quite amused one. "Aw, you're blushing!"

I quickly covered my cheeks with my hands, "Shut up, no I'm not!"

Tyler just laughs and we spend the rest of the time just talking about Jenna and Josh and the weather and Tyler's childhood basketball dreams.

"So why did you give it up?" I inquired, messing with my now empty coffee cup.  
"You are obviously quite talented in it."

Tyler also messed with his own cup, watching his hands as he pondered how to respond.

"I, uh, was always really into music, since I got my first keyboard at a young age. Basketball was something that my whole family was apart of but I guess music was something that truely gave me an outlet for my emotions and my demons."

"Your demons?"

"Yeah, my blurryface." Tyler said as if it was obvious.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what that means."

"Oh, that's right," Tyler said, as if scolding himself, his face scrunching up, "Blurryface is what I call my, uh, it's like a personification of my insecurities. It's a way for me to deal with them."

"Oh, I know what you mean." I said with a sigh.

"You do?" Tyler looked up at me surprised.

"Yeah," I ran my fingers over the knuckles of my other hand, feeling the mountainous regions. "I call it my Darkness."

Tyler looked at me for a moment, as if studying me.

"Does the Darkness get you a lot?" Tyler half whispered to me, as if we were sharing a secret.

"It use to all the time." I said, not meeting his gaze.

"Until?" He said.

"Josh." I mumbled.

"I mean his hair is pretty bright."

A laugh escaped my lips, not expecting the joke. Tyler smiles at the change in mood of the conversation but I can see the concern in his eyes.

Our conversation is inturruped by Tyler's phone chimming. He picked it up off the table, "Ah, speak of the devil."

"What's he askin'?" I asked, leaning forward.

"'How's everything going?'" Tyler read.

"Tell him that I'm the worst person you've ever met and you hate me with a burning passion and I smell."

Tyler laughed, copying down my words as I spoke. Instantly his phone chimmed again.

"What'd he say? What'd he say?" I said excitedly.

Tyler flipped the screen towards me so I could see,

￼'lol what' it read.


	13. Consent

**_SLIGHT AWKWARD SMUT_ **   
_con·sent_   
_kənˈsent/Submit_   
_noun_   
_1._   
_permission for something to happen or agreement to do something._

  
"Charlie, you should really get an instagram." Daisy said from the other side of the couch.

I looked up from my phone, "Nah, I'm good without all the selfies."

"Well what about a twitter? Then you could see what Josh tweets." She said, raising her eyebrows.

"Its too much drama- You know I don't like social media, Daisy, why are you pushing this?"

She looked back at her phone, years later she would tell me that Josh had posted the first picture of me online that day. It was me laughing, dimples deep into my face with a bit of whipped cream on the tip of my nose.

It was from our third date, we had a beautiful day and now were having sundaes back at my apartment. It was a fond memory that I look back on often. Josh had given me favorite compiment.

"Your eyes glisen is the most magnificent way when you look at those fish. But it is nowhere as beautiful as when you talk about teaching."

But at the time, I had no idea that Josh had just told hundreds of thousands of people that we were dating. It was a big deal for the three million people that followed Josh, yet I sat there, oblivious.

"In other news," Daisy spoke up again, deciding to keep Josh's dreaded secret. "Whatcha getting Josh for Christmas?"

I turned off my phone and leaned back, stretching out my legs, groaning, "I don't knowwww."

Daisy turned her phone off too and turned towards me, "You could get him drumsticks, or a Chipotle gift card, or maybe even a new hat?"

I lifted one side of my upper lip, thinking about what could I give him that could mean more that those trivial things.

"Or you could give him, ya know." Daisy said suggestivly.

I rolled my eyes and laughed but could feel a blush creeping up my neck. "Shut up, Daisy. We've only been together a month."

Daisy scoffed, "Me and David fucked on the first date!"

My mouth fell open and a laugh built up in my throat. "Well maybe I've got some work to do."

Daisy fist pumped the air, "MY GIRL IS GETTIN' LAID!"

I laughed nervously, running my fingers over the knuckles of my other hand.

***

I heard a knock on the door and my heart started fluttering. Daisy had left earlier with a smirk on her face to go hang with her other friends.

I walked over to the door, feeling the carpet under my bare feet. I took a deep breath and unlocked it, swinging it open.

"Hey, Sunshine." I said smiling.

Josh stood there with a goofy grin holding flowers but his grin dropped when he saw my severe lack of clothes.

With only a big shirt on and freshly shaven legs, the outside December air was detrimental for my health so I grabbed Josh's shirt and pulled him inside.

Josh slammed the door shut with his foot and dropped the flowers on the floor before grabbing me in a passionate kiss.

A giggle escaped my lips as his hands grabbed my hips and pulled me closer. I quickly pulled his jacket off and he pulled away for a second only to take his shirt off too. I took a moment to admire his fit body before he got inpatient and pulled me in for another kiss.

I broke away again and grabbed his hand, quickly dragging him towards my bedroom.

Daisy had warned me earlier in the day to  quote, "stay the fuck out of" her room.

Once near the bed, Josh gently laid my down, crawly over me slowly, lifting the big shirt as he came up. He got the shirt all the way up to my neck before it got stuck on my chin.

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Shut up, Brain, I'm trying to be sexy." Josh said still struggling to pull the shirt off. I sat up and pulled it off easily.

Josh smiled and kissed my jaw leaning me back, then my neck, then my collor bone. He got to my bra and sighed, sitting up.

I sat up again, "What's wrong?"

"I, uh, dunno how, uh," Josh scratched the back of his neck.

"You don't know how to take a bra off?" I giggled.

A blush creeped up Josh's cheeks.

I smiled and kissed Josh's blushing cheeks. "Here, I'll do it for you."

I brought my arms back and unhooked the bra, letting it slide down my arms before throwing it to the side.

Josh looked at my chest with such amazement that I half wondered if Josh was actually a 16 year old this whole time.

"Josh?" I asked, and it took him a few seconds to actually look back up at my eyes, and his face was tomato red.

"Yes, sorry." He layed me back down, and he began kissing my neck again. His hand hovered over my breast. "Sorry, do you, uh, mind if I, uh?"

I grabbed his hand and pressed it against my boob. "I don't mind Josh. I'll tell you to stop if I ever want you to."

Josh nodded nervously and kissed my lips, now holding my boob, not really doing anything.

I pulled away, slightly annoyed.

"I'm sorry." Josh said, sitting up, once again. He hid his face in his hands.

"Josh, I want to ask you a question and you have to be honest." I said, grabbing the disgarded shirt and pulling it back over my head.

He looked at me as if he was about to be scolded.

"Are you a virgin?"

Josh looked at me for a second, his eyes flicking all over my face as if that if he looked hard enough, he would be able to read my thoughts.

Slowly, Josh nodded, then instantly winced as if he was going to be virbally abused.

"I kinda wanted to wait until marriage?" Josh offered meekly.

Quickly I stood up and put on some sweat pants.

"You're mad." Josh said, looking down at his hands.

I turned around and smiled, walking back over to him. I leaned over and planted a soft kiss on his lips.

"On the contrary, Sunshine. You free next weekend?"

Josh scrunched up his eyebrows, "Well that's Christmas."

"Exactly, aka the infamous Harris Family Christmas Dinner." I said, giving him another soft kiss.

"You want me to meet your family?" Josh said, his face showing complete perplexity. This was obviously not the reaction he was expecting.

"I mean," I said, standing back up, grabbing his hand, "If I'm going to find the perfect guy, might as well show him off."

Josh laughed, letting me drag him back into front room. I grabbed the flowers off the floor and went back to the kitchen, grabbing a vase out of a cupboard.

From the kitchen I could see Josh plop down on the couch, turning on Netflix. I filled the vase set the beautiful bouquet in its new home. I made my way back to the t.v. room and smiled at my lovely boyfriend.

I sat down and he wrapped me in his arms, nuzzling his face into my shoulder and breathing in the vanilla perfume I had put on before he had arrived.

"You ain't too bad yourself, Brain." He whispered before turning on the recent show we had started together.

I could get use to this.

 


	14. Famous

_fa·mous_  
ˈfāməs/Submit  
adjective  
known about by many people.

_**2:23 pm** _ **Me:** _joshhhhhhhhiiieeeee_

I flop over in my bed, already missing my yellow haired dork. I had just seem him two days ago but it felt like forever now that school was no longer occupying my time. Work was trivial and it was my day off. Josh had informed me that he and Tyler would be working on stuff for the band today but that didn't stop me from missing him. 

_**2:24 pm** _ **Josh**


	15. Dinner

"Charlotte!" I was attacked with a hug by my younger brother right after he opened the door. 

A loud oof was expelled from my lungs but I hugged him back with just as much force. He had always been my favorite sibling and it was nice to have him back in my arms. I missed this. I missed the smell of old oak that was wafting out of the house. I missed seeing my siblings and goofing around. 

My brother untangled himself once he was satisfied with his hug and had this stupid grin on his face as he looked down at me. He may be only 16 but he was a freakin' bean stock at 6'2 (1.87 m for the non-Americans). His shaggy brown hair gave him the stoner vibe that I knew he lived up to (I made a mental note not to mention that to Josh). His angular features and lanky body earned him a couple of girlfriends but he never seemed to care enough about them to hold on to them very long.  

His hazel eyes dragged away from me to look at the man who stood next to me. He looked him up and down for a second, judging every parcel of his body before finally landing on his hair. He took step back in surprise and Josh instictivly reached up with his hands as if to cover the fluff of yellow upon his head. 

"S-sorry, it was a mis, uh, a misunderstanding." Josh stumbled out nervously. 

A smile broke out on my brother's face, "S'fine dude, I like it." 

Josh gave a nervous smile back and then looked at me as if to say "Yo introduce us dork." 

"Oh yes," I said with a nod, "Jaxon Harris meet Josh Dun."

Jaxon put his hand out to shake but when the words connected to his brain, he froze.  Josh shook his hand not noticing my brother's realization. 

"Y-you dyed your hair." Jaxon stumbled out. 

Josh raised his eyebrows, "Uh yeah?" It took a second for him to remember what I had said before we left. "Oh, oh, yeah, I did. " 

"Do you two know each other?" I asked as obviously as I could. 

Jaxon looked at me with squinted eyes and pushed his head forward in a what-the-fuck kinda look.  He hadn't let go of Josh's hand however and Josh was starting to notice the sweat that was collecting from the nervousness of the boy.  

"Uh, duh-" Jaxon was about to tell me the information that I already knew but Josh interrupted him like he usually does to anyone who was going to give away his beloved secret.  

"Jaxon comes to some of our little gigs sometimes. " Josh offers, wincing at his horrible attempt at a lie and Jaxon dropped the handshake. 

I smile, "Oh really?" I looked at Jaxon and looked extremly confused.  "I've been meaning to ask you, babe," I grabbed Josh's arm just to be that much more extra, "What's your little band called?" 

Josh looks at me and I can tell his mind is working fast. He keeps glancing at Jaxon to make sure he didn't say it. 

Josh opens his mouth as if to say some excuse but was interrupted.

"JAXON!" My mom's voice could be heard from inside the house and Jaxon physically winced, "CLOSE THE DOOR IT'S COLD!" 

Jaxon gave a sheepish smile and let us in, still quite confused by the whole interaction. He closed the door behind us and locked it out of habit.  I lead the way into the front room and smiled at the sight of my father, sister, Emma, and her fiancée, Matthew, sitting in the front room. My father had this menacing look on his face and my sister's fiancée looked scared shitless. My dad looked up at me and his face broke out into a smile and he jumped up. 

"Care-Bear!" My father says and he takes two long steps to get to me. Pulling me into a hug, a sense of comfort washes over me. My dad's old-spice scent brings back a sense of nostalgia that I didn't experience very often. As we pulled away,  his smile let all my worries wash away. He gave me a once over, admiring his grown up middle child. 

"Uh, hello, sir." Josh said, "I-I'm Joshua, it's a pleasure to meet you." 

My dad turned his attention away from me and looked at Josh. Josh had a shaky hand sticking out, waiting to be shaken. My dad puffed his chest out in an intimidating way as he towered over my boyfriend for my brother had gotten his height from our father. Josh gulped as looked up at the man and winced when my father shook his hand roughly. 

"Stop it, honey,  you're scaring the poor boy." A sweet voice was heard and my mother made an appearance. She was a smaller woman but made up for it with her curves. She had a cheery persona that made everyone feel welcome. 

"Sorry, Pea," my father said, deflating into his normal self. "Gotta make an impression." 

"Yeah, yeah," my mom tsked,  "Dinner is ready, come and get it while it's hot." 

~~~

"You know, Josh," my sister says, pointing her fork at my boyfriend, "I've never seen a boy with yellow hair. So, I have to ask, do the curtains match the drapes? " 

My mother choked on her wine and Jaxon covered his mouth, trying to stiffle a laugh. Matthew, my sister's fiancée, did not seem amused by the question. 

"Emma, not at the table." my father says, not even looking up from his mashed potatoes. 

I looked over at Josh and his face is as red as the wine that resided in our glasses. 

"Uh, well, no." Josh said, flustered. 

Emma nodded satisfied but I slapped his arm.

"You didn't have to answerthat, dork." I said, shaking my head and moving back to my dinner.

"So," my dad said, finally looking up, "how did you two meet?" 

I looked at Josh, as if asking which one of should answer his question. Josh decided to answer for us.

"Uh, I met your daughter at her work, sir." Josh said. 

"Was it love at first sight?" My mom gushed.

"Mom!" I exclaimed.

"No, it's fine, Brain." Josh said, smiling, "I don't know about love, ma'am, but your  daughter sure did take my breath away when I saw her." Josh looked back at me with a smile. "I couldn't stop looking at those adorable dimples and dazzling hazel eyes. I came into her work as often as I could, fawning over her the entire time." He intertwined his fingers with mine, "She has been the best thing that has happened to me in a while."

"Gross." Jaxon said with a gagging sound and my mother slapped the back of his head.

"Shut up, nerd." I said to my brother, scrunching my nose up. "At least I can get someone, you can't even keep a girlfriend!" 

His face dropped and he suddenly drew serious.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Jaxon," I said quickly, realizing I had hurt his feelings. 

"No, it's not that." Jaxon said, setting his silverware down with shaky hands. "I have something to tell you guys."

My heart dropped, my mind racing. _Oh God, he got a girl pregnant._ I told him so many times to just wrap it up so he wouldn't have to worry about that but now he is going to be a dad at seventeen. We could help him. Yeah, if Mom and Dad kick him out we will help him. 

"I'm gay." 

My mom looked at him, then at my father, then back at Jaxon. My brother looked between his parents, pure terror planted on his face.

"Is that it?" Mom says, confused.

Jaxon looked at our mom perplexed. "Yes, that's what I wanted to tell you."

"We knew, Jaxon." My father piped up, "We've known since you were six, but thanks for sharing." 

Jaxon sat back, annoyed that his big moment was ruined. 

Matthew quickly exused himself and left the room hurridly. I looked at my sister, raising an eyebrow and she quickly followed her soon-to-be husband. Yelling cominced in the other room. The whole family pretented not to hear it as they made small talk, eating their Christmas dinner. 

"This is very good, Mrs. Harris." 

 _SLAM_. 

"Thank you, Joshua, it's my mother's recipe."

_"What will you do if we have a gay kid, huh? Throw it to the streets?"_

"So why the yellow hair, Josh?" My father inquired. 

_"It isn't natural, Emma! Humans are made to reproduce, gay people can't reproduce!"_

"Oh, it's actually kind of a funny story, Daisy, Charlie's friend, told me it was your daughter's favorite color." Josh replied.

_"Hello, the 1950's called, they want their outdated logic back!"_

"But Care-Bear's favorite color is lavender."

_"Well the Bible says-"_

"Yes, I know that now, sir. I may do that next but I have to wait between hair dyes, so I don't destroy my hair."

_"Oh yeah, well the bible also says not to eat pork but you sure did enjoy my mother's ham."_

"Ah, that makes sense. Does you job alow such crazy colors?"

_"That's diffrent!"_

"Actually, I'm more self-employed."

_"It also says not to wear mixed fabric clothes and not to have sex before marriage but we've fucked a million times. Do you get to just pick and choose what you want to follow?"_

"Oh? What do you do?" 

_"Faggots are just freaks of nature! Why are you defendjng one?"_

"I'm actually a drummer in a band with my best friend." 

_"Get out. Just get out, Matthew."_

"What's the band's name?" My mom asked and Josh looked at me.

_"And take your ring with you."_

"Twenty One Pilots." 


End file.
